I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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