she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
