she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
