i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
