Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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