thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
this will be a night to untag.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
