so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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