please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
