You work out of a Hotel?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
