I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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