I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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