why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
