Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Sober January is a disaster.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize