i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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