Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
