Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
