Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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