his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
