Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
