"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
