we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
