Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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