Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
