Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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