What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
