Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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