fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
