I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize