I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
