If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
