You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize