He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
