Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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