Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
