Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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