well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
