the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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