2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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