i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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