dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
