i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
why is half of my head shaved?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
