Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize