Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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