apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
