My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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