you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
