I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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