I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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