That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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