If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
