things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
