I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am full of burrito and curiosity
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
