All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize