...so i touched it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
