areolas are like halos for boobs.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
