Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
