do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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