I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
