eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
