I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
