Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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