Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
