Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
