four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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