Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
