they need to just BURY HIM!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
