how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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